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The Whine Shop | wine, you'll feel better | Page 3

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I have  to admit that I haven’t watched American Idol for years.  I pretty much only watched to agree with Simon and to roll my eyes at Paula.  “You’re all winners!”

The last season I had any interest in was the one with the oldest looking 27 year old ever.  Safe to say, that was a while ago.  Was his name Taylor?  I digress.  One of my favorite American Idol memories was the guy singing, “She Bangs.”  I think that Marjorie would have a thing for William Hung.

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I am not a sports fan. I don’t understand the appeal but I tell myself it would be like asking my husband to care about The Real Housewives of Anywhere. In college I hosted a Super Bowl party. I grew up in a household where we didn’t watch sports but we did eat food and pretend to watch the Superbowl. I couldn’t imagine watching HOURS of football and I assumed that nobody actually watched the game. Imagine my guests’ surprise when they arrived and saw my sweet 10 inch television. The food was good.

On a side note, I have been lured into watching Lifetime movies. They hook you from the get go, the overly styled hair, the wronged woman, it’s hard to resist. I was mesmerized by Meredith Baxter Birney in “A Woman Scorned.” Mrs. Keaton had the yellowest hair I have ever seen not on a Muppet. It is a TRUE story which is also one of the hooks of the Lifetime Movie

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I will say that I am pretty much smack in the middle of the Bravo demographic. I imagine this to be young enough that I care about popular culture but too old, married and kid-straddled to be doing any thing else at night besides watching tv. That said, I love Tabatha, I wish she would come and kick some dental office behind for me. I watch all of the Real Housewives and I am more excited about the return of “Krazy Kelly” and the New Yawk ladies then I care to admit on a public forum. Top Chef is more like required reading for me, how else would I know all about gelees and foams? My most embarrassing Bravo show is “million dollar listing.” I am sad because I miss Chad and his ridiculous dog and hairstyle (and dog’s hairstyle for that matter).

The kid with the questionable criminal record from the other seasons, Josh, is going to have to fill in as my favorite. They all look like teenage hooligans to me and I can’t imagine Californians are that laid back to entrust millions of dollars to these guys. The show must go on and I will have to settle for seeing that ridiculous haircut on that Beiber kid. Don’t even get me started on him. Elvis? Sex symbol. James Dean? check, this kid, I weep for the future….

Some say the earth and the heavens were created in 7 days. It took me a lot longer to get this blog up and running. I would like to thank Google for always being there to answer questions like, “what is a widget.” They are not, in fact, caucasian little-people nor are they the imaginary manufactured item in Econ class. I have learned so much.

Picture, if you will, the scene in Zoolander (a fine film) where they are jumping up and down like primates banging on the computer to get the files that are “in the computer,” and you have a basic image of how this blog was created.

I never intended to start a cartoon blog. I am not a cartoonist, clearly from my rudimentary drawings. I have always been punny (not puny but I am short) and the cartoons just sort of went with it all. I have fallen in love with Marjorie and Evan and I want to unleash them upon the world.

I would also like to thank all of those who helped preview the blog and answer dumb questions like, “is it ok to use this word press thing.”

It has been a long day and as I make my blog debut I hope that all of you had a better afternoon than I had. While I appreciate the advances in automotive safety that these new car seats offer, when one is trying to remove said car seat and one’s child has vomited profusely over said car seat and one is wrestling with the latch system with your face precariously close to said vomit, I swear a little bit.

 

Marjorie relished the element of surprise.

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Egads! I just saw an orange girl on TLC who is addicted to tanning.  She looks like an old woman who is the shoe and she is 20 years old.  It did not help that she is wearing an orange shirt, or maybe it’s a white shirt conveying the underlying orange-ess.  Also, there is a girl eating chalk.  Her boyfriend has circa 1992 Michael Bolton hair, I think she should focus on this problem first.  Chalk should have some essential mineral content. TLC reality shows are usually too classy for me, I prefer my smut smutty, but I am intrigued by the plight of the orange girl.

This evening we enjoyed the fine Trader Joe wine, “Matthew Fox” a Shiraz that was not too medicinal.  I don;t buy wine that costs more than $8 a bottle, this was probably $5.99.  Plus, it sounds like an 80’s movie star combination of MJ Fox and Matthew Broderick, which is a plus in my world.

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