I am wearing a very unflattering shirt right now. I would have thought that as I gracefully age, I would have learned which styles of clothing and which colors are flattering to me. As I sit here looking jaundiced and high-waisted, this is clearly not the case.
In college I was affectionately referred to as “Hi, ass.” This was at the University of Chicago where puns and geeks run freely across the quads. I never realized that I had this high-waisted condition until it was pointed out to me that I “had a shelf back there’ and if I “got tired I could just lean my head back and have a rest.” It also may have been suggested that I didn’t need earmuffs if I wore a belt.
Having two small (young, not just odd-sized) children, fashion is not at the forefront of my world. I have had this pair of jeans at least 5 years and I think as they have stretched out, the waist has crept up even higher. As I type, I can feel the waist several inches above my belly-button which is probably not ideal. Navel, I don’t like that word, it sounds too much like black matter that someone could get lost in, but I digress.
Having yellowish (some would say golden) and reddish (some might say ruddy) tone to my skin is the unfortunate result of having a Greek father and a mother of Scottish descent. This makes color choosing very difficult for me. The yellows clash with the reds and greens and the reds wreaks havoc on the blues. The shirt that I am wearing was recently purchased, extremely on-sale with the thought that it matched my eyes. I have green eyes and wearing green does accentuate this feature but usually it makes my skin look yellowy-green and my whole face kind of sickly looking. That’s the look I am sporting today. Luckily I am not leaving the house and my son is kind of into reptiles right now and it should be pretty dark by the time my husband gets home.
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